Thursday, January 18, 2018

It's been two weeks since New year and I'm feeling better. As this year started, we gave ourselves a second chance to start over and feel motivated to be better than our past selves. I myself actually felt hope that I will be able to fix my life this year - job, relationships (maybe) and independence. But starting all over again, how do you really cope up and keep yourself together?

As I have mentioned in my other blog earlier, I was having anxiety. I've been waking up with a heavy heart as early as 3 or 5 am. Can't tell if I'm getting used to waking up this early or it's just really my anxiety opening my eyes back to reality. But despite that, I get up and do my thing. I've been full of hopes and dreams and my faith gets stronger by day but it gets hard when you hit rock bottom. I've been overthinking for the past year/s and I didn't want to admit I was already having anxiety and depression. I love keeping and handling everything to myself and I only come out to my friends when I'm about to explode. As I was trying to figure out what triggered me to be this way, I remembered the worst day of my life and it was like an end-of-the-world experience. I am still trying to overcome it and trying to stay positive because one day that experience will be replaced by a much precious one. Thanks to some friends who understand and I really needed their support because I want my happy, enthusiastic and energetic, positive self back. I guess I also just got drained from toxic people from all kinds of relationships and from work and a whole lot more depressing events that shook me and pulled me down real hard.
What I regret was, I didn't take my time to breathe and relax, to stop and think which way to go. I just kept going and going that I felt lost, feeling like I'm at the dead end.  But I'm trying to find the light since now that I'm at the bottom, I'm  ready to swim back up. I'm ready to get out of this pit. 
So how did I start?

1. I wrote it all down.

I wrote how and what I felt. I still do it as it really helps me express my feelings especially that I'm not good at that with people. I usually do it here on my blog and practices my writing too!
I wrote my goals. Everything that I need to do to reach it. From here you'll see how far you've gone, too. This includes even the long overdue government ID you needed to get or debts that need to be paid. Yeah I have debts, who doesn't?? 
I wrote what needs to be changed or removed. Clothes, attitude, toxic people, name it!

2. Organize.

Me, I started with my room. That was 6 -7 boxes of junk and unnecessary things I was able to donate. More space in the room, more people were happy. Damn, it felt good. I also did garage sales for extra cash, burned photos and letters aka the ex-box and found a lot of missing things. lol

3. Catching up with my friends.

I promised this to myself that I would make time since I have friends that I haven't seen for a year. And this month, I had the chance to see some of them already. I have a lot of groups and honestly they are for keeps. They have been my support system and has helped me survive life. I have a low-key relationship with them and I keep them in my heart. Love you guys!

4. Reading books and watching movies.

You can read and watch anything that interests you and it's the feeling of being in a different world other than your own is what I'm after. Sometimes it's where you get more ideas and inspiration to do things in life. Even open your eyes to realizations and and feelings. Also, it's a good exercise for the brain. 

5. Embraced Adult-ing. 

All those responsibilities on your shoulder, embrace them. The real world, the adult life, it can be tough and very overwhelming and you'll always be on the field battling and planning your every move. And that is the best part right? You get to mature, find out what you want to do and just know your purpose. I'm a single mom, still young and I'm surviving. Yet here I am learning and still discovering the secrets of the universe. I've grown, learned to manage my finances, still learning to do business, had a few jobs, investing time in important things and people and the next thing I need to learn is cook. Hahaha. If I'm surviving, you can too.

6. Relax and Unwind.

This is the most important part. If you don't, you'll go crazy. My favorite place for de-stressing is the beach. I've read in an article that the "blue space" helps you relax, feel lighter and better. More endorphins, more fun! Never forget to take a break because health is more important. You can also reward yourself for doing a great job. 
At our age, 20s is the time to discover and experience a lot of things you'll need to grow. You'll feel pressure, confusion (a lot of that), mixed emotions, heartbreaks from relationships or career, rejections and a whole lot more but this will make you tougher or wiser, even.  It's okay to feel down or demotivated at times. Shit happens a lot. Eventually it doesn't get easier but instead you'll get better. Never ever stop learning. 
Stay classy,

1 comment

  1. I trust you'll overcome whatever it is. Always here for you xx


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